Exactly like this - Photo Magic Root CCANCND
Ian Bermingham, defender for Shamrock Rovers, has been identified by the Sun as the first man likely to be given the task of marking Cristiano Ronaldo as a Real Madrid player. Casting aside any selectorial whims on the part of Real or Shamrock Rovers, it’s a mildly interesting human angle that someone from considerably more humble football surroundings will have a chance to test himself in a friendly against the world’s best - as voted for by FIFA - and the world’s most expensive - as paid for by Real - player in the world.
So what will happen when the two meet, say the Sun? Well, here’s what got us interested in the very beginning:
Brilliant. Yes, he’s not making lots of money, but he’ll “knock out” Cristiano Ronaldo. “Knock out”? This is definitely football, not boxing. But still, what a great angle this is - it’s Joe Everyman taking a swipe against the out-of-touch and money-grabbing footballer from abroad, and whacking him to the ground. This article is going to be amazing.
THE first player to mark Cristiano Ronaldo following his £80million move to Real Madrid is on £300 a week and still lives at home with his mum.
And it costs just £650 to sponsor Shamrock Rovers’ Ian Bermingham for the season - but the part-timer has no fears about facing the £255,000-a-week Winker.
Good background to get us going; living at home and earning nothing substantial, but he’s ready for Ronaldo. And look, this is a side issue here, but perhaps it’s time to drop the winker as substitute for wanker thing - it was very clever for a couple of days after World Cup 2006 when Ronaldo did wink after Rooney was sent off, but that was three years ago.
Remember the line ‘I’ll KO Ron’? Good - so here are the supporting quotes:
Bermingham said: “A lot of people seem to think if I really hammer Ronaldo it will put my name all around the world and I would be some kind of a hero. But, no - I could never, ever think like that.
“As long as I can catch him he’ll know I’m there, but I want to swap shirts with him so it’s better that he’s still standing at the end of the game!”
More accurate headline - “I’ll not KO Ron because I could never ever think like that”. Would the second paragraph also constitute a fear - the fear that he might not be able to keep pace with Ronaldo?
“Obviously, I’m hoping to keep Ronaldo at bay but it will be difficult coping with his speed, skill and step-overs”
That’s a fairly flagrant disregard for Bermingham’s words, then.
The journalist, Geoff Sweet, is at pains to draw out the differences between the pair:
Portugal star Ronaldo famously wrote off his £200,000 Ferrari in January - but Bermingham does not have a car as he has not passed his driving test.
Yes, it’s pointless having a £200,000 Ferrari if you haven’t passed your test.
And while Real’s newest Galactico spent last month waltzing around Los Angeles with a bevy of beauties on his arm, the Shamrock kid has no girlfriend or his own place to entertain one in.
Brilliant - rub it in. We’re starting to think that the only thing that the pair have in common is that their words will be taken and twisted by tabloids - and that’s something that we can all enjoy, whether we’re on £300 a week or £255,000 a week, or whether we’ve got a Ferrari or we’ve not yet passed our test.
